Tonight is not a great night to be in my apartment, for the following two reasons:

1. My cleaning lady must have smoked half a pack of cigarettes in here this afternoon.
2. When I tried to air the place out, I was greeted with a warm breeze that smelled like onions. It’s like there’s an invisible giant breathing right into the open window - and this invisible giant needs a mint or a piece of gum in the worst way.

I sure hope things improve in this place by morning, smell-wise.